


The Agony of Defeat

by benjji2795



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Dex is a tol anxious child, Hurt/Comfort, I think that's what this is anyway, M/M, Nursey is a good boyfriend, it's not physical hurt tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 16:56:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7582276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benjji2795/pseuds/benjji2795
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out of the face-off, the puck comes right to Dex, and rather than reacting instinctively, he starts thinking.</p>
<p>
  <em>All I have to do is hold onto the puck or get it to someone else.  If I can do that, we’ll go to overtime and we can win the game then.  Just don’t fuck it up!<em></em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>Thinking makes Dex indecisive; he can’t decide whether to hold onto the puck or pass it.  And so he does the worst thing imaginable; he does neither.  Trying to do something, Dex does something with his stick that’s in between holding the puck and passing it, and it sends the puck skittering right onto the tape of a Michigan player a few feet from Samwell’s goal.</em>
  </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Agony of Defeat

**Author's Note:**

> One sentence prompts #6: _Try not to look so sad; it’ll all seem better in the morning._
> 
> As with the last one of these I did, I modified it. These one sentence prompts are a good way to get me started, but rarely do they ever seem to work in my writing without seeming stilted or awkward.
> 
> So instead of the original sentence, instead I have: _“Please try to not be so upset and don’t beat yourself up about it; it won’t seem quite so bad in the morning.”_ I feel that worked much better.
> 
> Also, these one sentence prompts are turning into longer fics than I meant for them to be? So like, they’re going to take more time to finish than I thought whoops. I’ll get them all done at some point lol
> 
> Anyway, enough of my blabbing, onto the fic!

After Jack graduated, nobody thought much of Samwell’s hockey team anymore.  Dex knows this because, against his better judgment, he read a number of articles before the start of his sophomore season.

 

_“Jack Zimmermann is a special player,”_ one pundit wrote.  _“And as tends to happen with players with incredible talent, the team leaned heavily on him and his production.  Looking up and down the team’s roster, I don’t see a single player—or even a group of players—that are capable of replacing his point total.  I question if they’re even capable of being a playoff team without Zimmermann.”_

 

It made Dex’s blood boil to read statements like that.  Jack was amazing, sure, no one disputes that.  But the reason they made it to the finals was because they had gelled as a team.  Everyone did their job and made the plays when they needed to.  No one player was more important than any other.

 

And even with Jack gone, the core of that team was still there: Bitty, Chowder, Ransom and Holster, Nursey, and himself.  And they had great young talent joining the team in Tango and Whiskey.

 

But even so, that first year without Jack was a struggle.  They had a hard time molding together as a unit, and so they barely squeaked into the playoffs, and lost in the second round.  Dex was partly satisfied that they had at least made it back, when most analysts didn’t think they would.

 

Chowder had gotten even better.  He was the best goalie in D-I that no one talked about.  Bitty was, without question, the fastest skater that Dex had ever seen.  Ransom and Holster may have graduated, but he and Nursey are almost as good as they had been.  And Whiskey and Tango clicked very well on the ice, forming a dynamic duo; sure, they weren’t quite at the level Jack and Bitty had been at, but they were pretty damn good.

 

Dex had liked their chances of proving everyone wrong this year, and when they did, he was—to put it simply—smug.  But that wasn’t enough for Dex.  He wanted to win.  Bitty deserved it, and the experts deserved to be wrong one more time.

 

See, they were going up against perennial hockey powerhouse the University of Michigan.  Playing in one of the toughest conferences in all of Division I, Michigan had dominated, cruising through their schedule and easily winning the conference.  In the playoffs, no one gave them a significant challenge, as they won all of their games by an average of three goals.

 

None of the college hockey reporters in the entire country thought Samwell had even the slightest chance of winning.  And sure, Dex will admit that the numbers were by and large stacked in Michigan’s favor.  But Dex believes in his team.

* * *

 

The roll of people who are coming to the game is long.  Jack is going to come, as are Bad Bob and Alicia.  Ransom and Holster are going to be in the stands, and they promise to cheer louder than anyone else.  Lardo and Shitty are coming too, of course.  Bitty’s parents are driving all the way up from Georgia to attend.  And even Dex’s parents have taken two days off of work they can ill-afford to come.

 

Missing are Nursey’s parents.  Dex has yet to see a hint of the Nurse’s at any event, which infuriates him.  It’s not even that Nursey’s parents have an excuse like his do.  They’re rich, surely they could spare an afternoon to come watch their son play for the NCAA championship!  Nursey only shrugged.  “I’m used to it by now,” he said, which only made Dex more indignant.  Nursey kisses his cheek.  “I’m glad you’re angry on my behalf, but I really don’t care.  Instead of talking about this, let’s just take a nap before we have to head to the arena.”

 

So they don’t talk about it, but Dex holds Nursey a little tighter as they curl up on the bed.

* * *

 

Dex anxiously chews on his lip as he tapes up his stick in the locker room.  The last time they were here, playing in a game this big, he was just a freshman.  Murray and Hall had already told both him and Nursey that they likely wouldn’t see the ice much during the game.  Dex wasn’t nervous then because it wasn’t likely he’d have much of an impact on the game.

 

Now, he’s one of the most important players on the team.  He’s under enormous pressure, because he and Nursey have to some how find a way to hold off the most proficient and highest scoring offense in college hockey.  And there’s the added pressure of who’s going to be there; he has to make sure that the vacation time his parents took doesn’t go to waste.

 

“Don’t worry,” Nursey says, slapping him on the shoulder as he walks past in only his compression shorts (which Dex does _not_ need from him right now, the fucker).  “We’re going to give a performance worthy of Ransom and Holster’s best.”

 

“Sure,” Dex mumbles in reply.

 

He really hopes they will.

* * *

They don’t exactly play well.  At this point, with twenty seconds left in the third period, Michigan has managed to get forty-one shots on goal.  Michigan is faster than any team they’ve played all year, and they’re both struggling to keep up—and that’s putting it mildly.

 

But Chowder is proving why he’s the best damn goalie in college hockey.  Despite having so many shots flying at him all game, he’s only missed blocking one—and he almost got that one too.

 

He and Nursey, despite their defensive struggles, just had a sparkling moment.  Dex stole the puck from Michigan’s forward, who was simply trying to protect it, and with an assist from Nursey, scored a goal.

 

It was due to that goal that the game was tied, one goal apiece.  19.8 seconds left entering the face-off following Dex’s goal.  Chowder is clearly tired, and they have to find a way to at least protect the puck and take the game to overtime so Chowder can rest for a few minutes.

 

Out of the face-off, the puck comes right to Dex, and rather than reacting instinctively, he starts thinking.

 

_All I have to do is hold onto the puck or get it to someone else.  If I can do that, we’ll go to overtime and we can win the game then.  Just don’t fuck it up!_

 

Thinking makes Dex indecisive; he can’t decide whether to hold onto the puck or pass it.  And so he does the worst thing imaginable; he does neither.  Trying to do something, Dex does something with his stick that’s in between holding the puck and passing it, and it sends the puck skittering right onto the tape of a Michigan player a few feet from Samwell’s goal.

 

It’s over in a matter of seconds.  Chowder is caught off-guard, as he apparently had relaxed when he saw that Dex had the puck.  All his teammates react, trying to come to his aid, but they’re all a fraction of a second late.  A flick of the wrist sends the puck flying into the back of the net with 11.4 seconds left, giving Michigan a 2-1 lead.

 

Dex stares down at the ice where the puck had been.  He knows what’s just happened, but he can’t seem to process it.  He knows what it means, but all he can do is stare at the ice in shock.

 

“Dex.  Dex!  DEX!” someone screams in his ear, dragging Dex out of his trance.  He turns to find Bitty standing there.

 

“Dex.  There’s still time left.  Get into position or get off the ice,” he barks (the captaincy has really brought out Bitty’s harsher side; certainly he yells more than he used to).

 

Dex moves into his place, still not really able to grasp what happened.  He skates hard.  He tries to do everything he can in the last 11.4 seconds, but it’s too late.  The clock runs down to zero with the score 2-1.  They lost.

 

_They lost because his turnover gave Michigan the winning goal.  Fuck.  It’s his fault they lost._

 

When he finally registers this, he immediately dashes for the locker room, ahead of everyone else.  He feels like he can’t breathe as he throws himself onto the bench in front of his stall.

 

_You fucked up you fucked up you fucked up…_

 

Dex takes his helmet off and throws it at the wall in frustration and anger.  He let everyone down.  Everyone is going to come in and look at him with disgust.  They’re going to hate him because he screwed up so badly.  Dex squeezes his eyes shut; he can’t handle seeing their faces.

 

“Dex.”

 

It’s Nursey’s voice, and Dex doesn’t want to look at him; doesn’t want to see the anger or disappointment in his eyes.

 

“Dex.  Babe.  Look at me please,” Nursey pleads.

 

Dex shakes his head.  “It’s my fault.”

 

“No, it’s not.”

 

“Yes it is.”

 

“Is he goin’ to—”

 

“Not now Bitty,” Nursey interrupts.  “Let me handle this.”

 

“Dex, the bus is going to be here soon.  You have to get changed,” he says, turning back to Dex.

 

“I can’t face them.”

 

“You don’t have to.  Just keep your eyes on me, okay?”

 

Dex finally forces his eyes open.  Nursey doesn’t look mad or disappointed, only worried.  His stomach is still twisting into knots, but looking into Nursey’s eyes makes him feel a bit better.

 

Nursey helps him get ready to get on the bus, and Dex doesn’t take his eyes off him the whole time.  Nursey responds with little shoulder squeezes and quick pecks on the lips.  Normally Dex would protest to such open displays of affection in front of the team, but Dex doesn’t even know if they’re still there, and he won’t stop looking at Nursey to find out.  Plus, that affection is about the only thing keeping him from completely losing it right now.

 

All bets are off when they reach their hotel room though.  The door clicks shut, and their bags (Nursey carried both) haven’t even hit the floor when Dex shoves his face into Nursey’s shoulder, crying into his shirt.

 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Nursey says, hugging him tightly, a hand slowly running up and down his back.

 

“N-no it’s not,” Dex says, almost whimpering.  “I’m the reason we lost.  If I h-hadn’t played, I—”

 

Nursey shakes his head.  “Dex, if you hadn’t played, we still would’ve lost.”

 

“No—”

 

“Yeah.  You’re the one that scored the tying goal, remember?”

 

“But if I hadn’t been in for that play—” Dex begins to protest before being cut off.

 

“You’re one of the team’s best players,” Nursey says.  “You think Hall and Murray would’ve wanted anyone else out there in that situation?”

 

“Now they will.”

 

“I doubt it.”

 

“Nursey—”

 

“Will.  Please try to not be so upset and don’t beat yourself up about it,” Nursey pleads, hid hand still making slow circles on Dex’s back.  “It won’t seem quite so bad in the morning.”

 

“Morning will be worse,” Dex replies.  “I won’t be able to avoid facing them.”

 

“I saw everyone’s faces in the locker room.  No one was blaming you.  They were all too busy beating themselves up for their own mistakes,” Nursey says.

 

“And tomorrow they’ll have forgotten their mistakes,” Dex says.  “But no one will forget mine.”

 

“Yes they will.”

 

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” Dex retorts.  “Of course they won’t.”

 

Before Nursey can answer, there’s a knock on the door.  “We’re not in the mood for visitors,” he says instead.

 

“I just thought y’all might like some cookies,” Bitty says on the other side of the door.

 

Nursey slowly shuffles over to the door, dragging Dex with him.  He holds onto Dex with one arm while use the other to open the door about halfway, keeping Dex mostly shielded from view.

 

“Here you go,” Bitty says, handing over a small container, smiling just as brightly as ever (even as his face shows evidence that he’s been crying recently).  “Is Dex doin’ okay?”

 

“As well as he can be,” Nursey shrugs, taking the cookies from Bitty.

 

“So…I’m thinkin’ that means not very good,” Bitty sighs.  “I wanted to say this earlier, but you were handlin’ it.  Anyway, it’s really not his fault.  Hell, we wouldn’t have even been in that position if it weren’t for him.”

 

“I know,” Nursey nods.  “But he just needs some time, okay?”

 

“Okay.  Well, I guess I’ll see y’all on the bus tomorrow mornin’.  Good night.”

 

Nursey closes the door and tosses the cookies somewhere on the floor.  They’re probably not going to eat any of them.  “Let’s just go to bed.”

 

Dex hums in agreement.  They’re both already in sweats, so it’s easy for them to climb into bed immediately.  Dex curls into Nursey, hugging him around the waist tightly as Nursey turns off the lamp illuminating the room.

 

“If Bitty said that, he really means it,” Nursey whispers into the darkness.

 

“I don’t know,” Dex mumbles.

 

Recognizing that there’s nothing more he can say tonight that will be of any help, Nursey gives up and closes his eyes.

 

He doesn’t know how long they are closed when Dex whispers.  “Nursey?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Thanks.  Y’know…for earlier…in the locker room…”

 

“Of course,” Nursey replies, placing a kiss on the top of Dex’s head.

 

“I love you,” Dex says.

 

It’s not the first time he’s ever said it.  But Dex doesn’t say it very often, and so it’s a special moment when he says those words.

 

Nursey smiles, his stomach erupting into butterflies.  “I love you too,” he responds.

 

It’s not long after that they’re both asleep, safe and loved in each other’s arms.  Dex dreams about Nursey and their future together, the agony of the loss fading in the world of sleep and dreams.  He’s not over it, but having Nursey there with him will always make that kind of thing 100 times easier.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not sure how good of an ending that is but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
